“Will you be mine?” Is Valentine’s just one special day a year, or is it a lifestyle?
Having lost one husband, I recognize more than ever how precious my time with my second husband is. None of us has any guarantees of another day, another hour. Husbands, wives, parents working at the World Trade Center September 11th, 2001 didn’t have any idea that morning that it might be their last goodbye to their loved ones. The motorcycle driver killed instantly in a recent accident had no warning that his life, and that of his family, was about to change forever.
When God brought a lovely man into my life several years after being widowed, I didn’t know if I wanted to commit to a new marriage. I was finding my identity as a single woman, exploring new interests, and not sure I wanted to risk the possibility of going through widowhood a second time. But Don was patient, consistent, kind, persistent. He told me he wouldn’t ask me to marry him until I was ready. And he kept loving me. One day he stood by the kitchen sink as we prepared lunch together.
“I will never leave you,” he said. “You may send me away, but I will never walk away from you.”
Amazing statement. I kept listening, watching. His love didn’t waver. His kindness was evident in the ways he respected me, as well as my family members. I made a list of the qualities I would look for in a man, were I to remarry.
During a cruise to the Mexican Riviera, a girlfriend and I talked and prayed together. One day I pulled out and reviewed the list of qualities I wanted. Don fit every one of them. As I sought the Lord, it seemed I heard Him say “What are you waiting for?”
Several months later Don and I married in a small, intimate ceremony.
Don gives me flowers, cards with deep expressions of love, and shows me regularly how much he loves me. But it’s not always the romantic gestures of love that mean the most, lovely as those are. It’s the daily acts of selfless love that let me know over and over that he’s thinking of me and caring about my welfare. Things like …
… pulling my car out of the garage and warming it up for me when I have an early winter appointment;
… unloading the dishwasher before I’m even awake;
… helping my mother with small things around her house;
… supporting and believing in my call to write.
Don and I work at never parting without seeking each other out to exchange a hug and kiss; we touch base periodically during the day, whether at home or apart. We love our families, our two sweet Cavalier King Charles Spaniels, the beach, and traveling. We laugh at little things and cherish time together, whether we’re doing something special or nothing at all.
So, my Valentine, I love you on this special day. But I also love you every day. You complete me. Looking into your deep blue eyes gives me strength, confidence, and joy; and our shared commitment to Christ roots our love in the Rock of Ages.
Happy Valentine’s Day, Don Victor Loewen!