Category Archive: Love

Harvesting

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”

Galatians 5:22-23 ESV

So if we want these qualities in our lives, how do we get them? Is it by trying harder? By putting reminders on our mirror or fridge to say “be kind today.” “Be patient with the crazy driver in front of (or behind) you.” “When you get angry, hold your tongue.”

We so often try to produce these ‘fruit’ by working harder. And yet, God says that doesn’t work…and how well I know it. Just before these verses Paul describes the works of the flesh, i.e. those qualities and behaviors that come naturally to us, as “sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God” (verses 19-21).

I can think of a time when I exhibited four of these in one incident when my temper got the best of me. So first of all, I’m grateful, deeply grateful, for the forgiveness of God that wipes out my sin.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

I John 1:9 ESV

Second, I was reminded by our pastor today that these fruit of the Spirit i.e. love, joy, peace … are HIS work in me, not mine in myself. My challenge is to spend time with Him, focusing on Jesus, loving and worshipping Him, allowing His Holy Spirit to produce these characteristics in me.

What a joy. It’s not my job to make me like Jesus. It’s my job to rest in Him, trust in Him, and allow Him to change me. That’s His job! And He can do what I cannot do myself!

Thank you Lord, for producing more of your likeness, for growing a good harvest in me as I focus on, spend time with you. I love you.

Train up a Child …


On every page of the Bible there are words of God that give us reason to hope…In the promises of God, I find inspiration and new hope. Charles A. Allen

II Peter 1:4 NLT “Because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires.”

If you’ve read my posts for awhile now, you probably know that I come from parents who were fully committed to Jesus Christ, and who raised us to love and honor God and them. No entitlement mentality was tolerated. If we sinned, or disobeyed Mom or Dad, if we were disrespectful, we felt the brunt of discipline. Neither we nor our parents took that lightly!

Me with one of my beautiful grandnieces

But we were loved. I still have pictures of Dad playing “farm” on the floor with my two older brothers, Mel and Arn, and me as we laid out the fences, cows, horses and chickens …

And when I accidentally spilled my glass of milk, Mom got a rag, cleaned it up, gave me more milk, and said something like “Oh well, we can clean that up.” No recriminations. Although I expected punishment, she knew the spilled milk was an accident.

We were taught obedience. No, we didn’t always obey; and we didn’t always like each other as kids. And yet, we stuck together. Once, at my first boyfriend’s house (I was five), my leg went to sleep. Mr.Wageman was a tall, distinguished German man with a strong accent, intimidating to my little self.

It was time to go home. Somehow I managed to tell Mel that my leg was asleep and I couldn’t walk. And my big brother got down in front of the couch so I could wrap my legs around him and ride piggyback home. My dignity was saved!

I don’t remember specific words about how Mel, Arn and I treated each other; but somehow we learned to be kind to each other. I recall getting into trouble for some misdeed when my brothers both spoke up for me. They had my back.

Bob in his hot rod/stroller

And when younger brother Bob joined the family when I was eleven, we extended the love to him. As I grew I took him places with me and loved it when I was 16 (Bob was 5) and others asked if I was his mother. Mel and Arn turned Bob’s stroller into a hot rod and pushed him all around the neighborhood.

My siblings and I have had some major disagreements as adults. But we have managed to communicate about and resolve those issues, sometimes through tears, other times through respectful, honest discussion.

So what did Mom and Dad do to foster this kind of love and mutual respect?

  • “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6, ESV) They taught us about God’s love and taught us scripture from earliest childhood.
  • They modeled respect, affirmation and forgiveness in how they treated us.
  • They had, and expressed, high expectations of us and didn’t tolerate lying, cheating, laziness, nasty language, or meanness.*

I am not a parent, but I see some of my nephews and nieces who are wonderful parents – patient, exacting, understanding, accepting, loving, giving and forgiving. I admire the ways they lead and teach their children in example and word. So, if you are a parent of young children, my hat’s off to you! God bless you and guide you and give you every bit of strength, courage, resilience, and love you need to wisely guide those little ones into love for Jesus Christ, and to productive adulthood. And may God give you times of rest in the process!

What are ways your parents trained you that helped you grow and mature? What are you doing with your own children to raise them wisely and with love?

*NOTE: this is my experience with my parents. My brothers may have different perspectives as each relationship is different.

When Tragedy Strikes

Like many of us, I’ve had a heavy heart this week. Another shooting in Southern California left twelve dead, others with horrific memories and their aftermath. And fires, in both Northern and Southern California. The town of Paradise decimated, 23 reported dead as of Saturday evening.

Amazingly, the Paradise home of dear friends of ours is still standing, as is their church. But for several days they didn’t know whether or not they still had a home. Others I know have lost everything, except in most cases, their loved ones. Homes are gone. Lives are lost. And even if you still have a home, there is currently no water in Paradise, no power. So as of yet there is no possibility of returning to the homes that remain.

Our friends who still have their home are in the minority. We’ve heard that 80% of Paradise is simply gone. Destroyed. Decimated How do you even begin the overwhelming task of starting over? And how do you move back into a home that is still standing when all around you is destruction, ash, rubble?

Others have certainly gone through that. In countries where persecution abounds because of ethnicity, or faith, or religious differences, many have fled their homes with nothing more than they could carry. Here in California, many escaped the Camp Fire, or the Malibu fire, or another, with only the clothes on their backs. Plans for family gatherings at Thanksgiving and/or Christmas or Hanukkah must change because people are now homeless.

So how do we help?

  • Tell people we’ll pray for them – and then DO IT! If the words are simply the “thing to say” in a tragedy, they are meaningless. Perhaps instead of just saying we’ll pray, we can stop and say “Let me pray for you now” and do it immediately, and then continuously.
  • Pray for the firefighters and emergency responders who so faithfully serve in these difficult times.
  • Ask what help they need. Someone commented that they went into Target to buy necessities only to see the store full of people walking around, dazed, not knowing where to begin. If you’ve lost everything, do you start with food or with medicines? With blankets or underwear?
  • Find ways to give where funds will be allocated in appropriate ways. The worship pastor at our Aptos church is from Paradise. He is there this weekend, meeting with the church from which he came to determine how we can help. Twin Lakes Church will give us opportunities to give in meaningful ways that are based on a real assessment of critical issues.

In the tragedy of these days we have an opportunity to come alongside those in desperate need, and love them in the name of Jesus.

My friend Shirley Fransen Holm posted this article on Facebook Saturday. What a beautiful picture of what it means to come alongside those in need.

At my synagogue, I’ll take 20 Mennonites over one armed guard

After telling the disciples he would soon leave them, their hearts were also heavy, Then Jesus said “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

Our hope is in the God who is present, the God who has promised never to leave or forsake us, and who calls us to be the hands and feet of Jesus to those in need.

A Little of This and a Little of That

A week and a half ago our dining room was stacked about seven feet high throughout with packed boxes. More were in various rooms in our new home, and in the garage. 

After a long week of unpacking, putting things away, and repacking items we no longer have room for, one of our nephews flew in from Texas for business and we had the privilege of dining and visiting with him. Their town had about 10 inches of rain in the past four days–overwhelming, but not to the extent North Carolina has suffered recently.

Grandnieces and nephews at tonight’s Family Dinner. Love these littles.

Tonight Bob and Sheila hosted their wonderful bi-weekly family dinner. Don and I picked Mom up and enjoyed the time with our brother and sister-in-law, two of their sons and their families. With three candles on a delicious brownie, they serenaded me with “Happy Birthday” Three candles–thirty years! I like that!

And our realtor told us some of the people visiting our Soquel home Open House asked if we planted a heart or if it (the heart) grew on its own. Neither Don nor I could figure out what she meant. Marie sent a photograph of a section of our wisteria–which grew into the shape of a heart all by itself. We hadn’t noticed! But others did!

Kind of like our relationship with the Father … as we spend time with him, allowing him to prune us, absorbing his character, others begin to see in us a heart of love, when we did nothing consciously to plant it. God’s likeness simply grows as we bask in his presence and take in the sunlight and watering of his great love for us.

May you and I enjoy relaxing in the Father’s love this week as he embeds his character into our lives.

Farewell…For a Season

Don and I attended a meaningful memorial service yesterday for our dear friend, June McCuistion, who left earth for heaven a week before her 90th birthday. The service was a celebration. June had polio at five years of age and has been in constant pain since, every day of her life. Yet I’ve rarely seen a more beautiful, gracious, strong woman.

I never recall her complaining about her pain. This morning Don and I read the following statement: “I call you to lead the life that I have assigned to you, and to be content … Learning to be content is both a discipline and an art: you train your mind to trust my sovereign ways with you–bowing before my mysterious, infinite intelligence.” (Jesus Today, by Sarah Young) As Jan, June’s daughter, shared at yesterday’s service, “Mom’s faith allowed her to choose to accept the life she had, and to be the best she could be.”

June also had severe scoliosis, and a spine that was quite curved, making it harder for her to find clothing she liked. Once, June and Walt and Fritz and Frank Buschman were vacationing together with us in Puerto Vallarta. Fritz, June and I went shopping and found some clothes that were beautiful on June, with her stylishly simple, snow-white hair and beautiful face. That evening she modeled the clothes for her husband, Walt, and the rest of us. Walt’s eyes shone, and June teared up. “I feel beautiful.”

And she was beautiful…inside and out. June regularly listened and empathized and went beyond her pain to hear and feel the needs of others, which may in retrospect have been far smaller than her own needs. She could also speak truth in a firm, but loving way, when women coming to her for advice needed to correct their thinking or behavior.

June’s dear husband, Walt McCuistion, was a pastor and counselor for many years. He and I had lunch together one day when I was in conflict at work. I’d called in sick because I woke up in tears and couldn’t face going into the office that day. My sweet husband called Walt and asked if he could meet me for lunch. Over that brief period, Walt gave me perspective on the situation I was in, challenging me to be “wise as serpents and harmless as doves” (Matthew 10:16). I returned to work with a new attitude and a refreshed heart.

Walt married Don and me. He was getting forgetful, and started to pronounce us husband and wife before we said our vows. Both June and I spoke up.

“Not yet, Walt.”

“What?”

“We haven’t said our vows yet.”

“Oh, go ahead.”

And with that we simply moved forward through the rest of the ceremony. We’d decided to have a very small wedding–had both had big weddings in our prior lives–and the interruption of Walt’s forgetfulness felt so natural, so comfortable with only eight people there, that it remains one of our fond memories of a very intimate and close time.

Walt died five years ago. June was in a rehab center after a bone break, and the family had all gathered in a conference room to discuss her treatment. As Walt sat in his chair, surrounded by his wife, daughter and son, he simply passed into the presence of Jesus. “Good for him, bad for us,” his son Greg said yesterday. And yet, what a way to go Home, to the eternity that awaits those who have put their trust in Jesus Christ and His atonement for us. We were created for heaven … and, for the believer, death is a transition, a graduation if you will, to what we were made for–unending, perfect fellowship with our God and fellow believers.

June and Walt are reunited. Their memorial services were five years and one day apart. But their lives have impacted many for eternity. I miss them; and their family needs God’s comfort in the loss of this wonderful mother and grandmother. But heaven is enriched because another saint has come Home.

If you haven’t looked at the claims of Jesus, please do so. Read the New Testament book of John to discover his words, his heart, his sacrifice, his gift of eternal life. And consider his invitation to become part of his eternal family.

 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.” (John 3:16-17)

“He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life.” (I John 5:12) 

See you soon, June and Walt!