Category Archive: Attitude

That They May be One

‘Send forth your light and your truth, let them guide me; let them bring me to your holy mountain, to the place where you dwell’. 

Psalm 43:3

A devotion from Seeds of the Kingdom explains that in Scripture light often symbolizes well-being. So walking in the light of God’s presence illuminates the deepest secrets of our hearts, and carries with it day to day benefits for us. First, it keeps us in the truth. We live in a world of compromise and relativism and more than ever before we need to know the truth so we can walk in God’s ways. Second, it dispels our fear because His presence is always with us and we will not lose our way. Third, walking in the light of God’s presence is the way of obedience. In Scripture obedience and blessing go hand in hand. https://seedsofthekingdom.org/devotionals/0140/walking-in-the-light-of-god%E2%80%99s-presence.php

How can we walk in the light of God’s presence in a world, a country that is deeply divided right now?

Our small women’s Bible study group studied Jesus’ prayer in John 17 this week. He prays that we will be one, as He and the Father are one. He prayed for us, for me–“for those who will believe in me through their message.”

He prays for this oneness so the world may believe God sent Jesus, and that Jesus loves us even as the Father loves the Son (John 17:23)

This weekend a local pastor shared some letters he has received in the past two weeks. Each said she was questioning her relationship with God because of the divisions, the anger she sees within the church over politics.

Hearing these letters hurt. How tragic if our disagreements, my desire to be ‘right’, causes others to turn away from rather than to Christ!

So how do we move forward? We know we have political differences in the church. I think most families have some level of political difference. We don’t have to think alike. And yet Jesus prayed that we would be one.

The way God designed our bodies is a model for understanding our lives together as a church: every part dependent on every other part, the parts we mention and the parts we don’t, the parts we see and the parts we don’t. If one part hurts, every other part is involved in the hurt, and in the healing. If one part flourishes, every other part enters into the exuberance.

1 Corinthians 12:25-27 MSG

When injustice occurs, we need to hurt with those affected, and work for justice. When righteousness blesses someone, we rejoice exuberantly with them! We can look for opportunities to be intentional about loving someone with whom we disagree, especially politically.

We can also focus on relationship. There are differences within my family, but we have agreed that our relationship is more important than our differences. We’ve agreed not to discuss politics or, if we do, we work to do it briefly and in a spirit of respect for the other’s point of view.

Politics is not our savior; a political party cannot make us right with God. His purposes go beyond what happens in the November election. We don’t have to think alike; but our focus needs to be on Jesus and on the mission He gave us to share His love and truth with the world. If we do this, we can lay some of our differences aside and love each other.

Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headedthat exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!

Hebrews 12:2-3 MSG

What are you finding in this divisive time? Is your family all on the same page politically? If not, how do you handle those disagreements?

How do we Handle Stress?

Recently I mentioned starting a “gratitude journal.” It’s been two weeks now, and I looked back today to see some of the items I noted.

I’ve dealt with insomnia for at least a year. I’ve tried different remedies, some of which helped for 3-4 nights and then stopped. During the last two weeks there were only two nights when I was awake ’til the wee hours. Some of my best friends are also dealing with this issue so I’m not sure if it’s age, stress, or what, but I’m so grateful to be sleeping more regularly–a repeated thanks in my journal!

Some of my other entries:

  • A wonderful hubby who loves me unconditionally, cares for our yard and does a great deal to help me around the house
  • A delicious dinner and meaningful outdoor visit with a nephew and niece
  • Phone calls with Arn and Carol, a brother and sister-in-law; and with a niece in New York
  • Dinner with friends at social distancing
  • Encouraging, challenging online sermons
  • Beautiful, sunshiny days
  • Naps!
  • Making edits on the novel I’m writing
  • Several good walks in our neighborhood

And one morning as I drove, I sang (in my scratchy, breathless voice) “I love you Lord and I lift my hands … to worship you, O my soul rejoice.” I turned on a favorite Christian music station and … they were singing the same song, almost at the same point I’d been at when I turned on the radio. That was like a kiss from my Father. He put that song in my heart–and affirmed it through the radio.

I’ve found that focusing on those things for which I’m grateful is helping me deal with the stress of Shelter in Place, of the bad news that abounds in our media, of isolation.

I’m also encouraged by the example of godly men and women. I see pastors finding new ways to serve their churches, through online services, drive-through communions, outdoor and/or drive-in services. Mount Hermon, a Christian conference center near us, has produced four wonderful online concerts through July’s four Saturday evenings.

Museums are offering virtual tours. Grocery store clerks work hard to pack and deliver online orders.

In the midst of this awful pandemic, good is still happening. Too often we (I) focus on the negatives. I get discouraged and disheartened. But God is still good–all the time. No matter what we go through, what challenges we face, He is with us. He loves us as our caring Father. The prayer Jesus used to teach the disciples to pray was addressed to “Our Father.”

Some have not have good fathers. Some have had horrible fathers. I’m reading a memoir now about such a father and it’s heartbreaking. But if we had a good father, as I had, we need only think of Our Father to know He wants to care for us, walk with us through life, and take us to eternal joy in His presence when we pass from this earth.

So let’s be people of thanksgiving, of praise to the God who will never leave nor forsake us.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

Philippians 4:6-7 NIV

Resentment: Reverse Poison

Lying in bed a few years ago, I thought of the people who would travel with us on a much-anticipated trip the following day. One woman had offended me on a prior trip. I thought I’d forgiven her. However, as I prayed I realized I still felt a tinge of antagonism toward her.

“I don’t want that Lord,” I confessed. “Will you please remove the bitterness from my heart.”

When I saw this woman the next morning, I flinched. I had a choice to make, since she hadn’t yet seen us. By God’s grace I chose to greet her with a smile. And she, against whom I had carried a kernel of dislike, responded with warm words of affirmation. We enjoyed talking and kidding around during the remainder of the trip. It felt good to have the resentment gone, that poison flushed out of my system.

When I ask the Father for help He is so very willing to respond, to make me more like Himself.

“For it is God who is at work within you, giving you the will and the power to achieve his purpose.”

Philippians 2:12-b13

Someone once said holding onto resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other guy to die. Wise words, especially with all the divisiveness in our nation today. And holding onto resentment makes us bitter, dissatisfied, unhappy. Not the way I want to live.

“Let all bitterness and indignation and wrath (passion, rage, bad temper) and resentment (anger, animosity) and quarreling (brawling, clamor, contention) and slander (evil-speaking, abusive or blasphemous language) be banished from you, with all malice (spite, ill will, or baseness of any kind).”

Ephesians 4:31

Are you holding onto resentment or bitterness? Can you hand those to the God who wants us to be whole, righteous, just, at peace? Why not allow God to do His refining work in you, realizing His purposes are above yours and mine?

Blessings, dear readers.

7 Ways Gratitude Helps Me

I walked into the garden section of a popular hardware store near us and looked for tomato plants. I found them–tiny wisps of leaves. I asked “Aren’t there any bigger than this?” But no, that’s what they had.

Don grew a lovely crop of tomatoes on our deck last summer, so I bought three small plants–a Roma and two cherry tomatoes. None were more than three inches high.

We’ve watched them grow almost daily. It’s been such fun to see them–six inches, nine inches, then a foot tall. Their growth has been phenomenal until now, about six weeks after I purchased those little seedlings, they are a good five feet above the planter–and wide–and we see bunches of green tomatoes developing.

Note the tallest shoot is above Don’s head and he is 6′ tall!

It seems like a miracle that these tiny seedlings have grown noticeably almost every day since I brought them home.

So how do we grow in our walk with God, especially in these turbulent times?

Gratitude is one aspect of our growth. Like many, I have gone through cycles of faith, fear, depression, and angst over the past months.

I’ve been through difficult times before.

I lived in the inner city of Los Angeles for ten years and had dear African American, Hispanic, and Asian friends. But I and the women with whom I lived and ministered were also threatened with dismemberment and death. I recall fearful nights going to sleep praying, “Lord, I don’t know whether I’ll see you face to face in the morning, or will have another day to live, but I am yours.”

1970’s staff photo

I faced anguish when I lost my first husband to death.

I grieved at the losses of a nephew, my father and most recently, my mother.

But God’s view is so much higher than mine. He sees the big picture. He sees what will draw people to Himself. And His love is so great He sacrificed His only Son, Jesus, to become a man, live among us, die a cruel and heartless death at the hands of false accusers, and rise again. And this God, who loves us with unlimited, unconditional, unending love has commanded us to thank Him in every situation.

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

I Thessalonians 5:16-18

The late A.W. Tozer, American Christian pastor, author, magazine editor, and spiritual mentor, said “A thankful heart cannot be cynical.” And how easy it is for me to become cynical in this time of racial and political unrest, where I can’t have my faith-friends come alongside me to sit with me and challenge my wrong thinking during those cycles of fear.

Dr. Rick Hanson has studied the happiness factor.

The brain is like Velcro for negative experiences, but Teflon for positive ones.

Dr. Rick Hanson, Neuroscientist

So if, as Hanson attests, it takes five good interactions to make up for one bad one, we need to be people of gratitude, persons who notice and thank God, not only for the blessings He has given but also for the opportunities to grow which are inherent in difficult times.

One way of increasing our “attitude of gratitude” is to keep a gratitude journal. The UC Davis Emmons Lab has studied effects of such journaling extensively and found that those who kept gratitude journals on a weekly basis experienced a host of benefits: (see https://www.dailycal.org/2015/03/06/happiness-keep-gratitude-journal/).

  • They exercised more regularly.
  • They reported fewer physical symptoms.
  • They experienced better sleep quality and duration.
  • They felt a greater sense of connection to others.
  • They were more likely to have made progress toward important personal goals.
  • They had higher levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, attentiveness, and energy.
  • They felt better about their lives as a whole.

Perhaps instead of fearing the future, we can ask questions like these.

  • What do You want to teach me?
  • What do I need to change? What attitudes or biases do you want to root out in me?

And then thank Him.

  • Thank Him that He is in control, and that nothing happening in this world is surprising to Him.
  • Thank Him that He loves you completely, fears, joys and all.
  • Thank Him for this opportunity to learn more of what it means to rely on Him day by day, to trust Him for the future.
  • Thank Him that He wantw to teach us what is good and honest and just and pure and lovely, and to change our hearts accordingly. (Philippians 4:8)
  • Thank Him that He is a good, loving Father who has promised never to leave nor forsake us. (Hebrews 13:5)
  • Thank Him for family and friends who love and encourage and challenge and strengthen us.

I want to be like those tomato vines on our patio. I’m going to start a gratitude journal. Want to join me?

How Do I Deal with Separation Anxiety …

I took my Sunflower Butter and raspberries to the checkout counter, where a tall, lovely African-American woman greeted me with a big smile. We chatted for a minute and I said something to which she responded, “I’m on your team there.”

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is woman-in-gray-sweater-3214751-2-683x1024.jpgPhoto by Ralph Rabago from Pexels

Prompted internally, I said, “And the biggest team I’m on is Jesus’ team.”

“Me too girl! I don’t wanna miss that team!”

Her joyful response prompted me to say that I thought she might be. We parted with big smiles and anticipation of seeing each other the next time I’m in that market.

With Shelter in Place we have fewer opportunities to communicate with others, to encourage them and be encouraged by them, to laugh together, to enjoy a shared moment that brings sunshine to both our souls.

Most of Don’s and my interactions have been with each other and our sweet Paigey; and occasionally with a family member we see, or an individual in a grocery store. I notice that with our masks on, shoppers look less at each other.

Perhaps because we can’t see each other smile.

Perhaps because we’re trying to keep as much facial distance as possible between us. 

So when we relate to someone, like a cashier, over our masks, eyes meeting, it is a gift. We are made to be in relationship. We need each other. We need to find ways to connect despite our social distancing, which separates us, increases anxiety and depression.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is depression.jpg

At PsychCentral, Paula Durlofsky, PhD writes about ways to combat the emotional impacts of social distancing. I have edited and added my own comments to some of her points.

  • Record your feelings like a reporter – just the facts. This helps calm the emotions and allows us to reason more clearly.
  • Make a plan for reducing your distress, whether that is watching a funny movie, taking a walk or a warm bath.
  • Take breaks from watching, reading and listening to the news. A radio talkshow host told one listener who was feeling depressed that if she stopped listening to the news for four days she would feel considerably better. Wise counsel!
  • Eat well-balanced meals, exercise, get enough sleep, and avoid damaging coping strategies like alcohol and drugs.
  • Enjoy the times you can have with family. Playing board games, watching movies together, taking walks, and talking through your day all help reduce stress levels and enhance your relationships.
  • Stay connected via social networking sites and virtual platforms. Zoom and FaceTime can provide opportunities to see the other’s facial expressions while we hear his or her voice.
  • Spend time in nature, hiking, going for a run or bike ride.

And  I would add:

  • Make prayer and Bible reading a part of your daily life. In this pandemic we are not alone. We have family, friends, people of faith with whom to connect; and more, we have the God who is always Present and who loves us unconditionally. Reading the Bible helps me cope with some of those depressive and anxious thoughts that rear their ugly heads. Praying helps me give them to my good good Father – even if I have to do that multiple times a day.

“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”

Isaiah 41:10 NLT

What strategies are you using to deal with or prevent depression and anxiety?