Category Archive: Encouragement

It’s a Parade!

Nurse Paigey on my lap while I recover

I wish I’d had a long selfie stick to capture the moment. Following major surgery last week, I’d had quite a good day at home with lovely visits (and meals) from dear friends. I’d probably overdone it. That night, despite my medications, I was hurting significantly and couldn’t find a pain free position in which to sleep. At about midnight, I told Don I’d go sleep in the recliner in the family room.

Don said he would join me and followed me out of our room, pillows in hand. Walking down the hall, I heard the patter of softly padded paws trotting behind Don. Our little parade of 3 settled onto the recliners and slept thru the night, together. Every time that picture enters my mind I chuckle…this was family, working together toward recovery.

Before having total shoulder replacement surgery, both Don and I thought about the possibility of complications. When it came time, we each had to release our concerns to the Lord, trusting He knew our present and our future.
Afterward, my wonderful surgeon said all had gone well. Several times during the day and night following, I wakened to an enveloping sense of peace and quiet. And a sense of wonder infused my spirit. It was over. I was here. God was here. Don was here.

Now I’m home, with loving thanks to you who’ve sent cards, notes, called, and brought meals. My four-legged buddy has kept very close tabs on me since being home, cuddling up against me at night, sticking close during the day. My two-legged wonder, Don, even watched a shoulder replacement surgery with me online (well THAT explains the bruising!), cared for me, warmed meals, cleaned and laundered.

We have an amazing God who not only fashioned us within our mothers’ wombs, but has given man the tools and experience to rebuild damaged parts of the body. I give thanks!

So we’re into recovery. A day at a time. Grace for each day. Surrounded by love, trusting that I will also respond with grace when pain persists.

 

Contentment … a Choice

The sun shone brightly as we sat on the beach. Don and I had driven to Carmel to celebrate our September birthdays. I tossed a stick to our Cavalier, Paigey, who ran, dug underneath the stick so she got less sand in/on her nose, and then ran back to me. “Throw it again, Mum.” Her expressive eyes sparkled, anticipating the next chase. As the dark thunderheads moved above us, I felt a raindrop caress my ankle … then another on my arm, and another, and another …

Don had tucked the beach umbrella into the sand and adjusted it. Paigey found her dry place and tucked in. We had the beach almost to ourselves. We felt close, intimate, cocooned. Thunder roared and lightning flashed. And then the clouds moved and the sun reappeared, until another ominous grey cloud hid its brightness.

Just like life. Storms come, storms go. As my cousin said, “One thing is resolving while another stress is coming down the chute.”

Hurricanes Jose and Maria are following Irma; yet dear friends in Florida, where they just purchased a home, have seen neighbors work together to clear debris and begin the rebuilding process. Another friend lost none of her cattle, and “caught and released” an alligator from her garage, significantly inland from the Coast. Resolving, waiting.

We were never promised a life of ease. Instead, we ARE promised that our God will never forsake us–whether in the middle of the crashing storm or of a sweet life season.

Where are you right now? Are you in a storm or a sweet season? Sometimes they co-exist. I’m in a very sweet season in my marriage, but having shoulder replacement surgery this Thursday to ease pain and limitations I’ve had. I am blessed with a loving, protective husband and a close family unit. I have friends, a lovely home, a doggie who delights my heart. But … it’s so easy to despair when pain strikes, when I

can’t put dishes onto the shelf or hook my seat belt without pain. I don’t see surgery as a storm, but as a little cloud that will hopefully result in greater mobility and less pain down the road. Others face much larger storms, hurricanes, thrashing rain.

Where we look for help is key. God has given us Himself, not only to live within us but to also come alongside us, each day, in each need. As the apostle Paul said, “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” Philippians 4:12

Sometimes I am content. Sometimes I fret.

I choose to be content this week. Content in God’s great love and provision for me, His care for the smallest details. And to be thankful!

WHEN THE STORM OVERWHELMS

Harvey’s impact continues. This morning I saw a video of people and animals being rescued–beautiful horses who were caught in the underwater trees and couldn’t get free. The need is still overwhelming.

President Trump has declared Sunday, tomorrow, to be a NATIONAL DAY OF PRAYER.

“NOW, THEREFORE, I, DONALD J. TRUMP, President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim September 3, 2017, as a National Day of Prayer for the Victims of Hurricane Harvey and for our National Response and Recovery Efforts. We give thanks for the generosity and goodness of all those who have responded to the needs of their fellow Americans.”

And oh, how we need to gather together before the Father, corporately and individually, confessing our sin, our need, and crying out “Jesus, help us. Help our unbelief.”

I’ve wrestled with some tough questions in my own devastating times: Why is this happening to us? What is God’s purpose in suffering? And when friends asked me these questions, I was able to share that as believers we are not exempt from suffering in the world, from the effects of sin and illness. God has not promised to spare us, but He has promised “never will I leave you, never will I forsake you” (Heb 13:5, NIV), and to walk with us in all the paths of our lives, especially in the “valley of the shadow of death” (Psalm 23:4, NIV).

Friends are dealing with critical illness, with crushing despair leading to harmful choices, with trying to access medical treatment with limited staff and facilities. How do we respond when the storm overwhelms, when it doesn’t seem to lessen? W. David O. Taylor wrote about this from within the storm. I am attaching a link to his article here.

http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2017/august-web-only/when-jesus-doesnt-calm-storm-hurricane-harvey-houston-flood.html?share=

Let’s join together Sunday in corporate prayer for those in need, and for all who are serving others selflessly in Houston and other impacted areas. Let’s pray, too, for God’s intervention in the lives of those we care for who are hurting and need the loving touch of the Father’s heart.

I wish you His peace.

Search me O God

I can see it (all)!

Dusty. Sweaty. Tired. Sore. Yup, I just cleaned and reorganized the pantry. And I can see everything I need at a glance. Wow!  I’ve actually left the pantry door open because it looks so neat! Salad and mixing bowls are on a lower shelf where Don and I can easily reach them. It’s several years since I’ve done a full-on job on this. I’ve stretched my sore shoulder to reach for bowls I needed. I’ve forgotten what I had, so bought more of the same. I’ve stored foods I’ll never use. It was time!

And then I think how my walk with Jesus is a little like this pantry. I get cleansed with confession, adoration, and praise; and then life butts in and I allow things back into my heart that I should reject–anger, worry, self-centeredness … I forget to confess something and carry it with me. And then my life feels chaotic, my mind cluttered, my heart not free.

And I forget God’s marvelous, unchanging grace! And yet, Jesus is always there ready to forgive and to cleanse me.

I’m going to try to keep my pantry clean and organized; but I know disorganization will creep in. I hope to use it as a reminder of any cleanup I need to do between my Father and me, or between myself and others.

But if we confess our sins to him, he can be depended on to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong. And it is perfectly proper for God to do this for us because Christ died to wash away our sins. (I John 1:9/TLB)

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test my thoughts. Point out anything you find in me that makes you sad, and lead me along the path of everlasting life. (Psalm 139:23-24/TLB)

I’m so thankful for GRACE!

 What reminds you of your need for ongoing grace?

Making Room for Love–a Second Time Around

Falling in love and committing to a new marriage after losing a spouse took time. Was I willing to join my life with another after having been widowed? Did loving someone new mean I loved my first husband less? Was it in any way a betrayal of our love?

I wasn’t the only one who had the question. My friends also wondered how, when Jerry and I loved each other deeply, I could make room for another man in my life.

When I emailed a photo of Don to two of my close girlfriends, one wrote back a very short response. “Wow. Didn’t expect that. Wow.” I asked what she meant. She thought Don looked very much like an older Jerry. I didn’t see that resemblance myself, but I think my friend wondered if I was trying to replace Jerry.

Later she and I had another conversation where I tried to explain what it was like to love again. “It’s like I have two windows in my heart; Jerry is in one and now Don is in the other; it’s not a replacement, but rather an addition.” And what an addition, a gift from our good Father, he is!

On a recent trip to Israel together

Since Don is significantly older than I am (‘tho young in mind and body!) my friends also feared watching me go through go through widowhood again. It wasn’t easy the first time, for any of us. Not only did they love me; they loved my husband. And they watched me grieve, wept with me, let me go through the steps I needed to in order to heal. They didn’t want to see me in that kind of pain again.

But for me, the choice was to enjoy this second love for whatever time God gives us–or to walk away from it in order to protect my heart. I had asked God that if He had someone else for me, to bring that man to me. I didn’t want to be part of the dating game. While that works and is probably fun for some, it’s not where I wanted to spend my energy.

So God brought this gracious, loving man to me (and me to him) when Don and I met in a widow/ widower grief recovery group about two years after Jerry’s death. Neither of us attended the church where the group met; we came from homes twenty-seven miles apart…not in the same geographic location at all. While it took me awhile to commit, once I met Don there simply wasn’t anyone else for me. A God-thing, no doubt!

Seeking God’s guidance

God has blessed many wonderful women (and men) with the gift of being single after death or divorce. Their lives are full and complete as they follow Him in that new life, unless or until God brings someone else to them. But as more of my friends are widowed, I remember the adjustments needed both by my friends and myself in entering a new marriage. God may bring another special person along: making room for that someone is not only a process for the single person, but also for her family and friends. Honor that. Talk to them about your feelings, needs, desires; help them to know your new love so they can accept and begin to appreciate and love him (or her) too, as my friends have done.

And when feelings are hurt, as mine were when my friends didn’t understand, trust God. Talk about it, to God first. Ask Him for direction for yourself, and also for their openness. I realized that I’d rather have five good years with Don than none! (And we’re now in year eight, for which we both thank God.) And I needed to trust God and my friends with the rest.

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” Helen Keller

If you’ve lost a partner to death or divorce, how is God meeting your needs for comfort and companionship?