Category Archive: Communication

“Fab Friday”

These four women, and one other, have become precious to me over the past five or six years as our “Fab Friday” group meets twice monthly to study the Bible, pray, and care for each other.  This photo was taken at our 2018 Christmas brunch a few days ago.

We’ve walked through a lot of life together in these years…illness, loss, life’s various challenges. About a year ago I needed to take a step back due to my own health issues, so I dropped out of the group for a time. These women continued to love me, communicate with me, and keep me in the loop.

This past year has included lots of change for me: a new shoulder, new knee, a move to a new home and community, some of my closest friends moving out of the area … I realized I need these long-term sisters in Christ. I need their support and friendship, even as I give mine to them.

Why do I need these women?

WISE FRIENDS MAKE ONE WISER

“Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” (Proverbs 13:20 New International Version)

These are godly women from whom I learn much, and I need their input into my life, even as I share with them..

WE BEAR EACH OTHER’S BURDENS

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2)

WE CHALLENGE EACH OTHER TO BE MORE LIKE JESUS

“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” (Proverbs 27:17 New Living Translation”

As we are vulnerable to share our weaknesses as well as strengths, we sharpen each other to be more like Jesus.

WE FOLLOW JESUS’ EXAMPLE

God, Creator, Sustainer, Comforter, Healer, Peacegiver, Redeemer, exists in community himself: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. And He created us for relationship–not to go it alone, not to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, but to be in relationship with Him and with others.

These women are not my only friends; I have dear friends near and far. Some are one-on-one friendships, other couple friendships, but this is a group of women committed to each other, to confidentiality of the things we share, and to building each other up in our walks with Jesus. Such friendships are a precious gift, to be treasured and nurtured.

It’s easy for me to get lazy. I need to be reminded of how God is at work in others’ lives; to remain in His word and also to be reminded through what others recognize, how God is working in my own life. 

And so, as of January 4th, I’m back in!

“Two are better than one because they have a good return for their work; If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up.” ( Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)

Question: If you do not have a small group of trusted women or men with whom you meet regularly, where can you find one?

The Wisdom of Worship

According to Mayan legend, the gods who made the earth wanted someone to praise and worship them. So they created people made of clay; but the clay was soft and the clay people couldn’t stand.

So the creator made people of wood. These could stand, but had no minds or souls, and forgot to worship the gods who made them. So the gods sent a great water to wipe them out; and then made people of straw, who became the Mayans.

As Don and I listened to our tour guide at Tulum, a Mayan ruin on the stunning turquoise Caribbean coastline, I was impressed with two thoughts.

First, I was reminded of the truth of Romans 1:20-21: For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse. For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened.”

It seems every culture has an understanding that there is a God.

And second, the parallels (like the flood, or God’s desire to be worshipped) between ancient tradition and God’s Word remind me that God has always desired to make himself known to his creation.

And He desires our worship. Psalm 9:11 exhorts us to “Sing praises to the Lord, who dwells in Zion! Declare His deeds among the people.”  And Psalm 30:4 says “Sing the praises of the Lord, you his faithful people; praise His holy name.” But he longs for this to be of our own volition, in recognition of who he is and what he has done, and will do, for us.

We praise Him for:

  • Revealing Himself to us in the person of Jesus Christ, through whom we have eternal life in the future, and meaningful life now.
  • Rescuing us (I’ve been rescued when I lived in the LA ghetto, and probably other times I’m not aware of). “The Lord is my strength and my defense; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father’s God, and I will exalt him” (Exodus 15:2). We can rely on Him.
  • Being great and glorious and above all. (Psalm 150).
  • Loving us–amazing as that is. So many cultures and belief systems focus on currying favor with the gods, whereas the God of the universe, of Creation, came to earth so we could know Him and have a relationship with him. (John 3:16).
  • His grace (Ephesians 1:6) and mercy (I Peter 1:3).
  • His faithfulness in all times (Psalm 40:11).
  • His comfort in times of sorrow, loss, distress (II Corinthians 1:3-5).
  • His guidance: Psalm 16:7 says “I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me.”
I pray I will always remember to praise and worship my Lord, my God, my Redeemer–not because I fear being annihilated, but because He is good and loving and worthy of all my praise.
I’d love to hear what you would add to my partial list of reasons to praise God above.
 

The Wisdom of Words

         Golden apple by krzysiu                    “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.” Proverbs 25:11

Whoever said “Sticks and stones may hurt my bones, but words will never hurt me” was wrong–way wrong. Sometimes the deepest wounds are those caused by the sharp blade of hurtful words.

When I was around ten years old, a neighbor said I was “pleasantly plump.” Those words, meant well, have never left me. Who wants to be “pleasantly plump?” Words can cower a woman, destroy her spirit.  An abusive husband can tell a woman she’s worthless, never affirm her in her business or homemaking skills, or tell her she is important to him. A husband whose wife degrades him in front of others shows by words and actions that she doesn’t respect him. A child’s parents may tell him he has big ears, is lazy, stupid, uncoordinated.

Words can be either a blessing or a curse. Sometimes I ask God to give me the wisdom to know when to speak and when to be silent. Proverbs 10:19 warns against too many words: “Don’t talk too much, for it fosters sin. Be sensible and turn off the flow!” (NLT) A tremendous gift given to me after my first husband died was the attentive ear of a dear friend, who spent several hours sitting on the floor while I poured out my heart, talking about Jerry’s last day and his death. Her words were few, but precious. “Mmmmm ….”, “Oh my”, “I’m so sorry.” Sometimes listening in silence is the greatest gift we can give others.

Gossip destroys people and reputations. Lies and flattery hurt by raising false hopes; perverse or crude words bring others (as well as the speaker) down. And angry words destroy. It’s been said that the one thing you can never take back is your words. Once they have left the mouth they are always out there, never to be pulled back in. Thankfully, we can repent, we can ask those we’ve hurt to forgive us; but the damage can never be erased.

Another close friend ministered to me through words. A nurse, she told me how to read Jerry’s vital signs on the monitor and what each meant; how to know when his health was getting critical. So both silence and words can be a tremendous gift to others.

Wise words are a blessing. Proverbs 16:24 says it beautifully: “Kind words are like honey–sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.” (NLT) With our lips we praise God; and with our lips we encourage and influence others.

It was my eighth grade civics class. Our amazing teacher, Mrs. Goolsby, returned the graded tests to each of the students in the class, except me. What could have happened?

“Carol, I’d like you to stay after class for a few minutes.”

Mrs. Goolsby told me, in private, that I had failed the test. I was a reasonably good student, so this didn’t make sense to either of us. She questioned the process I’d used in answering the true/false questions and together, we figured out I had crossed out the right answer rather than crossing out the wrong one and leaving the correct one showing. When she re-graded the test with this criteria I had passed. But her words were kind, her heart discerning to understand what had gone wrong, and I knew she believed in me. Words of honey! And with her words, she influenced me for good.

The bottom line, as Pastor Val said last week, is that our words reveal our hearts.

Do you recall a time when words were either a curse or a blessing to you? How has that impacted your life?

“May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.”

Psalm 19:14 (NLT)

What’s the Lie You’re Believing?

It was 1983. Russia had shot down Korean Airlines Flight 007, killing all aboard and leading to worldwide tension. On September 26th, handsome young Lieutenant-Colonel Stanislav Petrov was in the commander’s seat in the underground early warning bunker south of Moscow. He expected a boring night when nothing would happen. And then it did! A warning light flashed and, in red letters on a white background, his computer screen screamed “LAUNCH. LAUNCH. LAUNCH.” Sirens pierced the night, indicating the US had just gone to war.

When a US missile could reach Russia in 12 minutes, seconds were critical.

Petrov broke out in a cold sweat and his face paled. But he kept his nerve. Other screens were not showing the flash of an inter-continental ballistic missile leaving a US silo. Could this be a computer glitch rather than the real thing? Other warnings flashed onto the screen, but they didn’t make sense. They indicated an attack of three, four, five missiles, rather than a mass preemptive strike of overwhelming force. He decided to wait. After ten interminable minutes the warnings stopped and there was no attack. Petrov’s screen had lied, and his decision to wait stopped what could have been World War III.

Pastor Rene told us this story this weekend and talked of how often, through our culture, the media, and advertising, our screens lie to us, telling us we will be happy “if only …” We’ll be popular if we drink this beer, or wear these sneakers, or use that perfume.

What if instead, we took time to thank God for the many blessings He has given each of us, gifts from the mundane to the sublime, from life itself, family and friends, beauty, laughter brought by a loved pet, and food most of us can access easily. We’re not necessarily told to give away all the blessings we have, but to be content with them, to say no to the lies that tell us we need “a little more”.

I struggle with this at times, wanting something to make me stronger, thinner, happier. Do you? Do we even recognize the lies when they bombard us?

I Timothy 6:6-8 says “Godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. So if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.”

Contentment happens when we recognize and thank God for the good gifts He gives us rather than looking for what we’re missing. I had significant pain this week, following my recent total shoulder replacement. I can complain and say “I wish my body was stronger.” Or I can recognize the blessing of being able to have this surgery and look forward to significant healing as time (and therapy) goes on. I thank Him for my physical therapist who “hurts me good”; for my husband who ensures I’m tucked in comfortably to sleep; for my surgeon; for a place to rest and renew and exercise; and so much more.

And when I am content, I am also more willing to express my gratitude by being generous with my time and resources, to help others in need.

For what are you thankful today? And, if you’re believing a lie that says you need “more,” how will you counteract that with the truth?

 

 

post by carolnl | | 2

Drawn to Worship

Don and I stepped onto the walk-on ferry from Cannes, France, and found our seats. Motoring through the cerulean waters, we passed St. Marguerite Island, which held a stone fortress which used to be a large prison. Cannes, and its busy, over-the-top multi-million dollar yachts, its Cannes Film Festival red carpet (coming two weeks after our visit), its high-rise hotels and spectacular villas, receded into the distance. The water’s various blue hues inspired wonder as we approached the dock at Isle St. Honorat. Sailboats of various sizes and styles dotted the water surrounding this small piece of land which has been home to a community of monks since the fifth century.

Tradition says that Honoratus settled on the island, intending to live the life of a hermit. However, disciples followed him and formed a monastic community.  Their life on the island was often interrupted by raids, primarily by Saracens. The monks were expelled when the island was captured by the Spanish in 1635; however, they returned two years later when France retook Isle St. Honorat.

Continuing attacks on the monastery by Spanish and Genoese reduced the number of monks to four, and the monastery was disestablished in 1787.

In 1859, the Bishop of Frejus bought the island with the intent of reestablishing a religious community there. Ten years later, a Cistercian community was established, which has remained there since.

We were not allowed to enter the monastery; however, we could walk up to enter the church and visit the tower. The walk was beautiful. Vineyards lined both sides of the dirt road, and the monastery’s tower was clearly visible against an azure sky.

As we walked past the shops where the monks sell wine and honey made from local produce, we also saw the effect of loving care for the property. Red, pink, periwinkle flowers grew up against stuccoed walls, reaching toward the sun. I took photos and delighted in the beauty of the scene, when I heard music coming from the church. Yes, we had arrived while the monks were singing their daily mass. The acoustics in the high-ceilinged, beautiful-without-being-ornate church, bounced the monks’ antiphonal sounds into the courtyard and thrilled my being. Quietly entering the church, many of us sat to listen and worship as the monks sang “Hallelujah.”

Here we were, on another side of the world, enjoying worship with monks we’d never met, with different languages yet united in “hallelujah” to our God. That will remain a treasured moment in my soul.

When has your spirit been drawn to worship because of music, a kind word, or a loving touch?